Award for creativity goes to the tenants!!

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We are all tempted to come up with an excuse when we get caught doing something wrong.  However I can’t think of anything that comes close to the creative genius of tenants who are behind in their rent.  In New Zealand the most common excuses are illness or family bereavement but here are some excuses gathered from US landlords.  The duck is my favourite!!

NOTE: The first 5 entries are all from the same tenant!!

• “My daughter rear-ended an off-duty police officer while drunk-driving last night. I had to use the money to bail her out of jail.”
• “I thought that the last month of the rent for the year lease was covered by the ‘last month’ payment that I made when I moved in. I didn’t know I had to actually give you notice and move out for ‘last month’ to apply. You didn’t tell me that!” Unbelievable.
• “I was out of town with the cash. Thank God I had it because my car broke down and I luckily had that money with me to fix it.”
• “We are late because we had to pay the movers to move in.”
• “My accountant said I can’t afford to pay my rent.”

• “We had a new gazebo installed which makes your property much more valuable.”
• “I meant to pay you, but things got crazy. It’s the thought that counts, right?”
• “I got paid but someone stole only the $600 I owe you in rent.”
• “I couldn’t pay the rent, I had something in my eye and couldn’t come to your office.”
• “I’m sorry, I spent this month’s rent on a much needed cruise vacation. Don’t worry- there’s a casino and I’ll win back the rent PLUS the late fee!”
• “I MAILED IT AT THE POST OFFICE LAST NIGHT BUT SOMEONE LIT THAT MAILBOX ON FIRE THIS MORNING.”

• “I had the rent yesterday when I called you to come pick it up. You didn’t show so I spent it.”
• “With my daughter’s graduation, our new boat and our trip to Europe this year, we’re a little strapped.”
• “I couldn’t pay the rent because I had to pay for the California Lottery Machine in my business because it costs $10,000 to renew. I’ll have the rent in three weeks.”
• “My boss’s mother was in the hospital and I had to go to the hospital to visit her.” followed by “My son had the flu and I’ve had the flu for a week so I couldn’t work.” followed by “We’ve both lost our jobs” followed by “We’ll come pay you the $2,000 we owe you tonight” followed by “I couldn’t get to the bank before it closed” followed by “I couldn’t leave work to come pay you” followed by “My boss couldn’t give me my pay this week” followed by eviction by Police
• “I know the rent is late again, I figured it was okay if we got it to you late. If we knew you needed it on the 1st we would of got it to you, but we thought it was okay to mail it on the 5th (It’s always been due on the 1st for the past four years!) . We’ve been going through some hard times and I’m sure you probably are too.”
• “I lost my job.” ( again) and “You have no right to talk to me that way.” When asked about the $80,000. divorce settlement she bragged about recieving, the fine ‘woe is me’ tenant then agreed to vacate but now has pending charges for stealing the laundry equipment.

• “My dog ate it.”
• “The swine flu freaked me out so much, I forgot to send you the rent check.”
• “I have plenty of money to pay rent but my husband has to pay it because he’s the man and has to take care of his babies.”
• “We all have the flu. We’re not sure if it’s Swine flu, and we like you so much we didn’t want to give it to you, so we didn’t pay the rent.”
• “I don’t have time for this– We are going to see the new STAR TREK movie. We’ll worry about the rent another time.”
• “It is SINFUL how money hungry you are! Our last landlord was THANKFUL we paid every 27th of the month!” Oh yeah. I finally tracked down her last landlord. He evicted her!
• “I just found out my husband is a homosexual. I don’t know what he’s been doing with our money!”
• “I was riding my bike over to pay the rent and someone came up from behind me and hit me on my head. When I woke up my money was gone and there were police & ambulance & people all around. I spent three days in the hospital, I have cuts and bruises all over my head”. So I drove over to the house and knocked on the door. She was fine, she just didn’t have the money and wasn’t going to have it for a long time. Can you say Eviction?
• “Come see what I did for you. You won’t want the rent when you see this!” Oh my God! She painted everything fire engine red — glossy! All my beautiful crown moldings and wood work. Her deposit will never be enough to restore it.
• “How can you expect to get your rent on time in this economy?”

• “My husband got some new tattoos that got infected so he’s missed work and lost his job. The tats weren’t cheap y’know, and now he’s gotta get a new job! Whatd’ya want from us???” Let’s start with the rent.
• “I lost my job because you (the landlord) is always texting me regarding the (7 months) rent I owe.”
• “We all had food poisoning the last 2 weeks. Don’t come near us. I’ll have the rent to you by the 15th.” Food poisoning is contagious?! Just admit you don’t have the money.
• “My son won’t clean up his room, he won’t pay his room & board, he won’t do any of his chores. I had to pay a lawyer to get him out. So I am short on the rent.”
• “I was on vacation most of the month so I wasn’t even there. Why should I pay the whole month if I didn’t even use the place?”
• “I thought the first month with a new landlord was free.”
• “My duck was injured in the basement when his wing got caught on the oil burner. The vet bill has delayed my rent. Sorry.” Doesn’t NO PETS include ducks?.

• “The people upstairs said they were behind six months last year and it wasn’t a problem. We’re only a month behind. Why are you giving US a hard time?.”

• “I wrote the check out on time, I just didn’t mail it.” The delivery is key to getting your rent paid. – Walter H.. Colorado

• “I had to quit my job because I couldn’t find childcare. They won’t let me get free childcare unless I have a job, and I can’t get a job unless I have free childcare.

Stay Inspired and Stay Safe ~ Dean Letfus @ www.MassiveAction.tv

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