• Tweet
• Email

From 19/11/2006

Well survived day 1 of the lease options course. It’s always cool to spend a day with people keen on property. Got home eventually to zillions of emails and 1 in particular caught my eye.

It was from someone I have never heard of accusing me of not being a real Christian and pretending to use my faith to make money. He accused me of this because I refused to see him without him paying my consult fee.

Now whilst it is true that I do charge often for my time to filter out the tyre kickers from those who really want time and to ensure I get to see my wife occasionally, this guy has never contacted me or asked to see me ever!! And as many of you know personally I have seen and do see countless people whenever I can and if I think I can help I try.

Sadly I have seen this behaviour often in counselling situations. It is always rooted in jealousy and bitterness that has no healthy outlet. Bitter people imagine all kinds of offences and decide that everybody is against them.

There is a typical progression to bitterness. It invariably starts as

1. Wounding or abuse
2. Resultant hurt and emotional damage
3. Unforgiveness
4. Irrational anger
5. Often conspiracy attitudes and behaviour
6. Bitterness
7. Physical manifestations of bitterness eg. cancer/arthritis
8. Often suicide

Why do I tell you this? Well my email “friend” tonight was a reminder that so much negative behaviour and harm to others starts with our need to forgive. From unforgiveness flows hatred, anger, sickness and suicide.

This unforgiveness is toxic stuff. Yet many of us have family we harbour grudges against. Former spouses we still hate. Church leaders we are unwilling to forgive. Not that any of us would have these issues but we may KNOW someone who does….. mightn’t we??

I believe it does us all good to check our internal compasses regularly and ask ourselves, “Is there anyone I harbour resentment or unforgiveness against?” If the answer is yes then understand the path you are on. You are the one who suffers. Your offender may have no idea they have done anything to you. Or if they have that is their issue. Your unforgiveness can destroy you, not them. You must deal with your own issues and choose to walk in the freedom only forgiveness can offer.

So if you ever meet anyone who suffers from unforgiveness I hope you will pass this info on, if you get my drift………

Since posting this blog originally I have now run a video blog series on the same subject. Final instalment tomorrow. And I still meet people consumed by bitterness and anger almost daily.

While I was in Fiji I have had someone making nasty and untrue comments about me publicly. I get emails from people wondering why I don’t correct the situation or take action. Well it’s because I feel so sad for the people making the comments. They are trapped in unforgiveness or bitterness or hatred. I don’t need to defend myself, life is too short to focus on another’s issues. I’d rather forgive them and pray for them and get on with what God has called me to. The poverty in Fiji is rapidly increasing and that is where my energies and money are to be deployed.

Let me leave you with Psalm 37. God taught us to live above the line long before the wealth creation industry was even created.
Psalm 37 of King David.

1 Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong;
2 for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.

3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for them, they will not be found.

11 But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy great peace.

12 The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them;

13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming.

14 The wicked draw the sword and bend the bow to bring down the poor and needy,
to slay those whose ways are upright.

15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts, and their bows will be broken.

16 Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked;

17 for the power of the wicked will be broken, but the LORD upholds the righteous.

18 The days of the blameless are known to the LORD, and their inheritance will endure forever.

19 In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.

20 But the wicked will perish: The LORD’s enemies will be like the beauty of the fields,
they will vanish—vanish like smoke.

21 The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously;

22 those the LORD blesses will inherit the land, but those he curses will be cut off.

23 If the LORD delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm;

24 though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

25 I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.

26 They are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed.

27 Turn from evil and do good; then you will dwell in the land forever.

28 For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones.
They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off;

29 the righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever.

30 The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just.

31 The law of his God is in his heart; his feet do not slip.

32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous, seeking their very lives;

33 but the LORD will not leave them in their power or let them be condemned when brought to trial.

34 Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man flourishing like a green tree in its native soil,

36 but he soon passed away and was no more; though I looked for him, he could not be found.

37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright; there is a future for the man of peace.

38 But all sinners will be destroyed; the future of the wicked will be cut off.

39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble.

40 The LORD helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.