• Tweet
• Email

I was watching Lance Armstrong being interviewed on the Tour De France yesterday after he had gone with his fellow team member and direct competitor and ended up coming off second best.  HE said in the interview that he was doing what was best for the team etc. but it was written all over his face and you could hear in his voice his anger at what had happened.

That is because he was basically being instructed to do something that he didn’t want to do, “for the good of the team”.

Now there is a place for that in life but not as often as you might think. At core this is a compromise solution and compromise is the worst possible outcome in any negotiation.

Now before you crucify me let me explain

If you think about a compromise for a minute what sort of agreement is it?  It is an agreement where NOBODY GOT WHAT THEY WANTED!!

How is that good?? Answer:  it isn’t!

You see we have been taught since we could walk to compromise, give your sister a turn, don’t be selfish, you must learn to share, you know what I mean I’m sure.

Now whilst this principle of not being selfish is valid, we carry it into situations where it doesn’t fit.

You see I believe, and I know because I prove it daily,  that you can both get what you want in a negotiation if you are willing ot pursue it.  One of my mantras is; “Win~win or no deal”.

In any negotiation we both should and need to get as much as possible.  We don’t have to both lower our expectations so that neither of us is really happy.  Why do we think this is a good outcome? I think it sucks frankly.

An example I have proven over and over again is when buying investment property. For me it is a numbers game. I have a price that I need to buy the property for and nothing is going to shift that for me because I am not emotionally involved. So to get what I really want I have to achieve a certain price.  It is nearly always going to be lower than the price the vendor wants so I have to find out what else the vendor wants and then negotiate to get the deal to where we both win.

I have achieved this through doing things as varied as providing long term settlement, paying for a moving van, giving an hour of my time to a relative, helping sell a vendors car, whatever it takes.

And the net result is I get exactly what I want and the vendors love me so much they refer their friends to me.

Do you get it?

To start we have to decide what we really want. Then the journey in the negotiation is to find out what the other person really wants and find a way for you both to get there.  Whether it’s a property deal or where to go for dinner it can be done.  It starts with a decision that both parties must be rapt with the outcome or we both walk away. Try it, it works .  See what the donkey’s above achieved!!

Stay Inspired and Stay Safe ~ Dean Letfus @ www.MassiveAction.tv

Subscribe to my blog HERE

Subscribe to my monthly newsletter HERE