Dealing with hurt

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Following on from my recent blog about dealing with issues I thought I would talk a bit about dealing with hurt.
I had an experience recently which reminded me of this. I know someone who was terribly hurt in their late teens by being badly treated by church leadership.
They never learned how to deal with it so now 20 years later they are still trapped in it’s jaws. In their particular case it comes out as nasty and attacking behaviour directed at well, just about anybody.

You see when we get hurt a process begins and unless we learn to stop and reverse the process it continues to the end.

The progression with some variations goes like this:

1. You get hurt. Thi sis a valid experience if you have been wronged.

2. You get angry. The sense of injustice starts to arise in you. This was not fair.

3. You become bitter. If you don’t know how to deal with this it turns into clinical bitterness. Bitterness starts to forget the actual event and culprit and just starts to poison you.

4. You become either very depressed or overtly angry.
Depression is the internal expression of bitterness.
Evil speaking, angry outbursts, attacking others is the outward expression of bitterness.

5. Here hurt takes 2 different paths. Internalisers generally become medicated and eventually turn to suicide as a means to relieve their pain.

Externalisers typically become vengeful and destructive. In business they become nasty, litigious and obsessed with money. In their personal lives they become sexually deviant and usually very violent. They also often become suicidal but it is probably more common for them to end up as alcoholics, in gangs or in jail.

I mention this all to you because you may be living with someone displaying some of these behaviours and I want you to understand they are not “bad” people, they are hurt people who have never learned how to deal with their pain.

Some of the most destructive people and events on this planet will have hurt people at the core of them.

Or maybe you are one of these people. Well I have great news, there is a solution. Sadly not many people are taught how to deal with this, but you can be free from it and no I’m not going to say the only answer is Jesus

Because I understand hurt I find it easy to have compassion on people who behave in this way, they need help not judgment.

And there is an answer, in fact it is a remarkably simple answer. And it works 100% of the time for all those who would try it. I’ll share it with you tomorrow.

Till then Stay Safe ~ Dean Letfus @ www,massiveaction.co.nz