I was discussing last night with my mentoring students our propensity to internalise failure and externalise success.  As property investors this means we are often quick to blame our failures on our own stupidity, ineptitude or laziness and always attribute any successes to external forces like the market, (a monkey could make money in this market), or assistance from others, (It only worked because so and so found me a buyer).

The problem with this sort of thinking is that we never learn from our mistakes because we decide we ARE the mistake.

I experienced this in living colour in late 08 when, due to a raft of circumstances, my own position became very difficult.

I’ve discussed this many times before so I won’t bore you with the details again but the bottom line was I had a massive problem and didn’t know how to fix it.  I can point to my buyers not settling and even fleeing the country leaving me in the $^@*! and that is true but fundamentally I blamed myself and decided that I was simply “bad”.  There is a line between accepting personal responsibility and taking failure on board personally and for a period I crossed it.

Fortunately, because I have spent so many years working on myself I realised what was going on before I gave up and started to reframe my position.

I had to acknowledge and act on the fact that I am a sophisticated and well equipped property investor and businessman and I was the only one going to get me out of where I was.  I knew God loved me and I would go to heaven when I die but that was not going to keep me afloat today .

I had a money problem and I was more than capable and resourceful enough to find a solution.

I have to say also that 3 friends of mine also helped enormously in staying on my team and being part of the brainstorming required to find answers. ( Many thanks to Matt G., Kris P., and Kerry C).

So 19 months later I have now added a huge raft of negotiating skills to my tool box and have learned heaps about working with banks, knowledge I can pass on to my clients and students that I would never have learned had I not walked through it.

I have learned to be much more objective as an investor.  Instead of wringing my hands when I had properties I couldn’t sell I accepted the fact that I was going to have to keep them and find a better solution.

I lost more money than most people ever accumulate but am still standing and better equipped to increase my wealth exponentially in the future

At any point I could have rolled over and that would have been a  way less stressful path.  Staying alive can be hard work and take some time to resolve.  I expect another year or so at least before I am back to where I want to be.  But I will get there and THAT is the point.

Reframing the situation has meant:

I am a far better qualified mentor than I could ever be if everything had always gone well for me.

I have unique experience in dealing with every bank in New Zealand and finding what the rules really are and what you can really do to find solutions to impossible situations.

I have learned to make the hard calls when I don’t want to and keep the main thing the main thing.

I’ve also witnessed the best and worst of others behaviour in similar situations to mine and that makes me appreciate my wife, my God, my kids and my friends all the more.

So my friends do you need to do an about face on what YOU internalise in your life??

Stay Inspired and Stay Safe ~ Dean Letfus

The Wandering Investor

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