Reaction or response
By
When you say things publicly as I do you often get to see a large variety of replies to your thoughts or comments. This happened recently when I warned you all HERE about the new Sales and Purchase Agreements being promoted by REINZ.
I did have one of my facts wrong, which was that the date for REINZ membership becoming voluntary is the 16th November not the first, however other than that everything I said is substantially correct. In fact since I posted that newsletter a prominent conveyancing specialist has been touring property organisations nationally saying exactly what my solicitor said, albeit in more restrained formal language.
Anyway my point is not to defend myself in this case but to comment on the way people react in general. In any situation we have an opportunity to react, which is a bit like a reflex action where we might angrily lash out OR respond, where we think about what was said and how and make a response designed to either educate, challenge or inspire.
For example with my newsletter above I received an email from someone telling me that my emotional statements undermined my authority. Fair enough but when I asked him to tell me what I said that was factually incorrect I have never had a reply. He reacted to me and has been unable to respond, if that makes sense.
Then I received another from someone who had forwarded an emotive reaction from someone else but he simply said, ‘You might want to look at this”. So he was giving me feedback and information rather than yelling at me. In his email I discovered my solicitors mistake over the dates.
I have had to learn to respond to people and not lash out in reaction becuase I get more feedback than many people and it is easy to take negative feedback personally. But I have found as I learn to respond that often my attackers even become my friends as we learn to understand each other. After all we are not looking for everybody to have the same opinion on everything but we should be able to be connected with people who we might disagree with. Isn’t that what life and relationships is all about?
I hope you have a most responsive day!!
Stay Inspired and Stay Safe ~ Dean Letfus @ www.MassiveAction.tv
To get the latest investing information on time and for free make sure you get my regular newsletter here
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
2 Comments
August 25th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
Wow, some great Gems in that passage Dean, isn’t it bazar that those who often initialy attack us the most severly do, if we are mature enough in our communication become good friends as you say.
Although it sure is unpleasnt to receive that first critical enslaught and NOT react like for like. Testing Moments but you sure do grow if you pass the test
What Mechanism do you have that enables you to not take such enslaughts personally Dean?
August 25th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
LArge injections of toughen up mostly
One has to internalise the concept that other people’s opinions of me are none of my business and combine that with the truth that negative or positive statements are simply feedback. I can choose to embrace them, evaluate them or ignore them as they are not who I am, simply feedback on my behaviour.