Archive for Success secrets
Never make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. We can;t control our emotions, they just happen to us don;t they. And most of the time we are being influenced by them because that is part of being a thinking feeling being.
Yet we often make decisions we later regret because those decisions are permanent and not what we would have done if we were less angry/sad/happy.
Think about it for a minute, from unwanted pregnancies to destroyed marriages and financial ruin. Permanent decisions made under the influence of a temporary emotion.
To stop this damage I am learning how to make temporary decisions so that I can check my emotions out. In stead of !$^&$^%#&$^ and ^%$#*!%&#)* to you too I now say:
“Let’s discuss this later on when I can think more clearly about it”.
Recognising our emotional barometer is a great place to start. None of us are going to make rational decisions in the heat of an emotional meltdown so once we establish that as a fact in our lives we can learn to say to ourselves I must not make any decisions right now until I am calmed down, sober, whatever it may be.
This has been quite a revelation to me today, not sure why.
I guess as I get older I understand the word permanent a bit better
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One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday she gave each student his or her list.
Before long, the entire class was smiling. ”Really?” she heard whispered. ”I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!” and, “I didn’t know others liked me so much,” were most of the comments. No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another.
That group of students moved on. Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a service man in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.
As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pall bearer came up to her.
“Were you Mark’s math teacher?” he asked.
She nodded: “yes.”
Then he said: “Mark talked about you a lot.”
After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.
“We want to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket.
“They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.”
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark’s classmates had said about him.
“Thank you so much for doing that,” Mark’s mother said.
“As you can see, Mark treasured it.”
All of Mark’s former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said,
“I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.”
Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.”
“I have mine too,” Marilyn said. “It’s in my diary.”
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group.
“I carry this with me at all times,” Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued:
“I think we all saved our lists.”
That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again. The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don’t know when that one day will be. So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late. And one way to accomplish this is:
Write down the names of ten people in your life:
Write down the top 3 things you love about them:
Send this story to them with your thoughts about them attached as explanation and see what impact in has in your relationship.
Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.
Be loved and Stay Safe ~ Dean Letfus
I have had 2 big lessons this year in business. One is too complex to comment on here, it will be in my next newsletter. But the other one was a promoter of mine in Asia. They appeared to be honest and we got on well. We ran our first event successfully and all was good in the world. A short time later one of my US partners caught this company passing confidential information to a competitor. When confronted they lied to my face until the evidence forced them to stop denial. It transpired that in their greed they were setting up in competition to provide a lower level of service to their clients but make more money for themselves.
They have since gone on to try to set up against us without knowing what they are really doing, all in the name of blind greed. To try and get some traction they have spread defamatory lies about us in their market.
Fortunately our business partners are the best in the business so their smear tactics have failed and if anything we are doing more business through their clients who are coming to us disgusted with this companies behaviour.
Fortunately we had our relationships tied down and our clients results speak for themselves but it has been an interesting and sad experience. Especially for me personally as I ventured into this business to help the owner recover form a dishonest business partner. So to have them be so dishonest to some trying to help them is doubly sad.
What have I learned?
1. Never assume someone who is referred to you is to be trusted without testing them first.
2. Never proceed on a trust basis, if it isn’t contracted it doesn’t exist.
3. Don’t return dishonest competitors behaviour with like kind, let your results and your clients defend you.
4. Saddest lesson, you have to keep a watchful eye even on trusted partners.
5. Pray for blessing on your business, leave the judgment to Him
6. Build your business based on what is best for the client, the money will follow.
6. Structure your business to minimise the points where dishonesty can occur.
More lessons in my newsletter this week
Get Going and Stay Safe ~ Dean Letfus
I was reading an article this morning that was specifically about keeping the power of God in ones church but the 5 warnings from the author equally apply to building a successful life whether you believe in God or not.
Legalism. We all need principles to live by and to know the difference between things like right and wrong but as soon as our life becomes “ruled by rules” we are in trouble.
If you will “never” do this and “always” do that and never associate with people who “do that” you are on a certain path to loneliness and becoming smaller. We need to experience people and things that push our buttons and our comfort zones. That is how we grow.
Racism. No explanation needed. I believe we are called to learn to love people everywhere—regardless of whether they are black, brown or white; whether they have dreadlocks or tattoos; whether they are legal or illegal; whether they are veiled in burqas or wearing biker helmets; or whether they speak Spanish, Arabic, Chinese or Hindi. When we close our hearts to people because of racial, cultural or language differences, we constrict the flow of His love and become rusty pipes full of poisonous water.
Cliques. When your group is the only “in” crowd we tend to get smaller as people. Never allowing our ideas to be challenged, never accepting that change can be good. Refusing to see difference ans diversity are all dangerous ground.
Unforgiveness. I have a whole facebook page devoted to this subject. Unforgiveness kills, quite literally in some cases. More at http://www.facebook.com/forgivenessfans
Egotism. We are called to be people of character, not celebrities. The most important thing to look at in your life is who you are when no one is looking. Think about that for a bit, it will seep into you and cause much reflection!
Get Going and Stay Safe ~ Dean Letfus
A friend sent me a picture, (don’t panic I’ll show you in a minute), that really illustrated why I got you to put your goal into a positive visible phrase yesterday.
Sadly the NLP and guru brigade have mixed up a lot of scientific truth with a lot of mystical sounding spin to make you buy their next programme or whatever, however the truth is that our brain has a remarkable ability to help us if we let it.
I once heard a scientist say that if we were cars and our brain was a 100 cylinder engine, most of us are running on less than 8 cylinders.
People who are creative like artists and musicians or those who push their brain activity like doctors and other academic pursuits may get up as high as 20% but that’s about it.
So we have 80% of our wonderful brain available to solve problems for us if we ask it to.
And that is why encapsulating our desires into a daily viewed phrase starts to unlock our subconscious ability to create ideas and solutions to achieving that goal.
I can hum/sing the theme song to Welcome Back Cotter, The Greatest American Hero, MASH and Miami Vice after not hearing them for 30 years because I imprinted them on my brain daily.
By imprinting a statement that requires action daily onto my brain I will not only remember it but am making the first step to achieving it.
So seeing you may not have done it yesterday when I suggested, please go back quickly and start creating change now you know why it is critical.
You will be AMAZED at what ideas will start to come to you as you allow your God given ability to be activated.
So back to my mates pic:
You will forever laugh at a lot of bumper stickers now I have shown you this genuine,untouched real estate pic from Northland in New Zealand.
Prior to becoming vacant this phrase ended in “LORD”
Get going and Stay Safe ~ Dean Letfus
So following on from Friday, how do we get from an idea of change to the execution of change. As I said on Friday we tend to over complicate this so instead of giving you the goal setting and planning speech I want to give you just one simple thing to start.
Take the one thing you want to change and re-frame the desire into a positive “confession”.
So my “Recover or surpass the net worth position I had in 2007″ I would rewrite as “I am achieving my goal of $XXXXXXXX net worth” OR even “I am thankful that my wealth is now greater than it was in 2007″.
Now take that one simple confession and write it on a card or print off a few copies and put it in at least 3 places that you will see daily. Above your computer, on the bathroom door, on the fridge, anywhere you DAILY see it. You can abbreviate it or even draw a picture to represent your statement if you don’t want your actual words on display for others. However you do it the critical thing is that when you see the card or phrase you instantly know what it says.
And that’s it. DO that today. I’m not going to even tell you why, just trust me. NO hard core planning, time-framed goals blah, blah.
Just one simple positive confession that you think about a minimum of 3 times a day.
Now get going and Stay Safe ~ Dean
So it’s January. You are either back at work or thinking about it.
The electric yellow socks are in the draw and 99% of the toys that got exchanged are showing why they were on $19.99 at the Warehouse by being completely broken.
We must put this behind us and start to plan 2011 like never before. We’ve never had a time such as this in our lifetimes so our action needs to be different.
We have never had such unprecedented opportunity in front of us, NEVER!!
If you are an investor in property we have never had such fabulous price conditioning as we have right now. In almost every nation in the world prices are depressed and vendors are motivated.
We have never seen such potential upside through both recovery and inflation on the horizon as we have now.
IF you are an investor in businesses or other assets you can write your own deals right now. The creative options that will be taken seriously are unbelievable.
And if you haven’t started your financial independence journey yet, now is the best time there will ever be to start. You can begin to take control of your retirement and build a wealth stream today more easily than ever before. Start with virtually nothing and put a good plan in place knowing you will be able to predict your own future!
You see taking control of your life financially is nothing to do with money, it is just about getting into the vehicle you already own and turning the key on. And the vehicle is YOU. Everything you need to be a success was created in you.
Maybe you see yourself like this:
Sadly too many of us do. Basically we are past it, too old/stupid/uneducated/tired/burnt to get going again. And besides either Inland Revenue, our boss or some bank has us in their clutches.
No, no, no, no, this is not true.
If you pick up a real mirror you look more like this:
You my friend are a purebred high performance machine. But not just a “normal” supercar, no God had you custom made by stretching you to increase your capacity…..
After all you need somewhere to put all the wealth you create so you can enjoy it while you’re on the road. A standard Ferrari just won;t contain it
So back to my original question:
Have you put the key in the ignition yet?
We’ll start planning in more detail tomorrow.
Till then, Get Going and Stay Safe ~ Dean Letfus