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I had an incredible situation yesterday that is a perfect analogy for the damage unforgiveness does.

My laptop has been running quite slow recently and it was also running out of disk space.
So yesterday I decided to try and dump a whole lot of stuff off it and find out why it was so slow.
I deleted a bunch of obviously unnecessary stuff ands the thought I’d defrag it to see if that helped with the speed.

My defragger kept saying I needed to defrag but as I only had 13% free space on the drive it couldn’t do the job properly, it required 15%.

So I spent hours and hours deleting files, deleting emails, copying files to Raewyn’s computer in search of this elusive 15% free space.

I got to 14.5% and thought I’d let it run anyway. When it finished it came up and said “some files couldn’t be processed”, and gave me the choice of close or view report.

(Stick with me there is a point here).
I accidentally hit view report instead of close and so I was suddenly looking at a huge list of files inside a folder I had never heard of.
So now I began a journey to find out what these files were and where they were hiding.

The rest of the story is long but I eventually established late last night that I had a piece of software doing invisible backups to a hidden encrypted partition on my hard drive.

Once I discovered this and deleted the back ups I went from having 10.1 gig of free space on my 80 gig hard drive to having 57 gig of free space. UNBELIEVABLE!!

Now this is EXACTLY what unforgiveness is like.

Unforgiveness goes below our conscious mind and starts to compile files of every bad thing that has ever happened to us. It takes on a life of it’s own and often decides that someone who is looking at you funny is actually thinking bad things about you and adds that tot eh list, (even though they simply had a glass eye). If someone hurt you who was tall male and dark haired, over time every dark haired tall male in your circle becomes a potential offender.

Over the years this unforgiveness starts to “fill us up” and we have no space to take on goodness, love, laughter etc., because our drives are full.

I see people like this every day virtually. They erupt over nothing, cause road rage incidents, take all and sundry to court, burn relationships, you name it.

They are often referred to as type “A” personalities. In more cases than you would think they are actually running on hate and unforgiveness.

The parallel between my laptop and this issue is perfect because the real causes are hidden and can sometimes take a lot of weeding out.

But when you can actually find the offending files and delete them the freedom that comes, the space that gets created in your mind and spirit are AMAZING!! My laptop is running like new again.

I was on the verge of getting a new one when all I needed to do was find the hidden problem. Incidentally most marriages end through the same situation. We trade each other in because we aren’t willing to get to the real issue and it is nearly always unforgiveness.

You are forever changed once you can delete the bad data.

I hope you will forgive me if I take a few days over this but I take it very seriously so if I’m going to tell you about it I want to do it properly.

So step 1 today is to decide whether you think you have an issue and if you’re willing to explore what it might be.

So when you have a few minutes do this. Close your eyes and think of the worst thing that has ever happened to you. (If you can immediately think of many many things that have happened to you and people who have offended you then you definitely have an unforgiveness problem.)

Now think about the person who offended you in that situation, picture their face, remembering that this is only in your mind so no one else will ever know think about what you would like to do to them if you saw them. If you could take any action and get away with it what would you do??
This will expose your true feelings and be a good barometer of whether you have unforgiveness toward them.

Now this event may be a violation of your body or soul, something extreme, however it may not. When I published my video blogs I received many emails from people who had found healing through the process who didn’t have “terrible” things happen to them.

One lady had been adopted and she realised she had never forgiven her parents for abandoning her. She said after doing so she felt, “better”, “different”, at peace.

So once you have done that write down the event and the person, use a code for privacy’s sake, just enough to remind you of who and what. Now do this for as many events come to mind. Take whatever time you need, minutes, hours, days, get your list of people who have hurt you as complete as you can.

Step 2 tomorrow.

Stay Safe ~ Dean Letfus @ www.massiveaction.co.nz